Bookburger

thank god we...

posted that item about the "Thank God I" publishing scam...people have been spreading the word...investigating it...and generally getting worked up about it. Which is great. But all this muckracking and publicity does bring out the paranoid in us.  So please be aware: if bookburger suddenly goes silent, either these two people have come to get us, or we are off on a 2-week summer vacation to a faraway place with no wifi service.

between the buns with...Melissa Kantor

We are major-league fans of Melissa Kantor and of her new novel Confessions of a Not It Girl, even though its cover features a person with words on her butt (perhaps the most heinous of fashion felonies, in our opinion).  So we asked Melissa to shimmy on over here and sit down for the famous burger pop quiz. To our deep astonishment, she agreed!

Who is your favorite writer that most people have never heard of?

Norma Klein--I actually don't know if people have never heard of her, but so many of her books are out of print that these days, it's hard to find them.  To me this is completely tragic.  If you can get your hands on a copy of It's Okay if You Don't Love Me or Love is One of the Choices, hold onto it like grim death!

What kid or teen books rocked your world growing up?

Norma Klein's books, natch.  And Judy Blume.  I loved Harriet the Spy when I was younger and was utterly addicted to Nancy Drew the summer I was nine, but recently I recommended the Nancy Drew books to a student of mine and was informed, "These are totally boring."  Maybe the character doesn't (time) travel well.  Two thumbs up for Marjorie Morningstar and Gone with the Wind.

Describe your ideal place to write.

I love writing at the desk in my bedroom, which (if my husband and son aren't home) is wonderfully quiet and which has a great view over the backyards and treetops of my neighborhood in Brooklyn.  There's also a great cafe near me called Coco Bar, and I did some very serious editing of my third book there.  I'm kind of a vagabond in that I've written all over the place (other cafes, the local public library, my mom's house in Salt Lake City).  So I CAN write anywhere, but where I LIKE to write is sort of quirky--I think there are places that are "good" to write (quiet, well lit, etc.) that have bad associations or bad karma or whatever, and I can't write there.  Maybe that's why I like Coco bar so much--it's full of distractions, but it's got a great vibe. 

Your life is a TV series. Name the theme song, one event that would be on the "best of" episode, and one that would be on the blooper reel.

Theme song:  "Right By Your Side" (the Eurythmics). Put it on and be prepared to start dancing immediately.   

Best of episode:  I wish this didn't involve a boy, but maybe all "Best of" episodes do.  When I was a
sophomore in college, I was seeing this guy--it was very tenuous, like he was definitely not my BOYFRIEND, but I was completely into him.  He was a senior and stayed at school during his spring break.  I was home in New York over vacation, but my parents were out of town and I took the car and drove up to school and surprised him.  We had one of those perfect nights--he was COMPLETELY psyched to see me, we drank a bottle of champagne, the whole nine yeards.  About a week later
he totally dumped me, which, as you can imagine, sucked, but I'll never forget that sense of excitement as I turned my mom's Saab 900 onto 95 north and started my drive not knowing what I'd find at the other end..

Bloopers:  Sadly, much of my life has probably been one big blooper as I spend most days with my foot deep in my mouth.  A typical one took place the first day of camp when I was a teenager and the guy I had a total crush on but who wasn't into me romantically (are you sensing a theme here?) came over to say hello.  I'd been planning this moment for months (I'd spent most of the winter thinking about him), but when it actually happened, I was so nervous that as soon as he spoke to me I just blurted out, "How'd you do on the SAT?"  He was like, "Um, okay."  You could tell he was thinking, What a freak. 

Burger-flippers want to know: have you ever had a job that required you to wear a geeky uniform? Details, please!

I worked as a waitress at a golf and country club and I had to wear a HORRIBLE uniform.  Polyester white shirt and black pants and awful white shoes.  WHITE SHOES, people.  Like a nurse, only I wasn't saving people's lives, I was serving them little butter balls.  It was the worst. 

We'd like to name a burger in your honor. What kind of fixins should it have?

Could you call mine "The Sassy"?  Or is that too lame? I think it would have melted blue cheese on it and then tomatoes and lettuce and onions on the side.  And it would come with a complimentary pack of "Trident Blue" so you could eat all the onions.

the greatest date crime of the century thus far?

Ok, I know there are a ton of novelists among you, my loyal b-listers.  So please, one of you talented scribes, write a story based on the scenario described here...hopefully one in which Joanne, our brave and beautiful heroine, triumphs, not only by marrying a hunky soulful millionare investment-banker/alt-folk guitarist (jewish, of course), but also  by starting her own financial-consulting firm that runs her nemesis "Darren Sherman" out of business....If you write it, we promise to promote the heck out of it and throw you a big swanky publishing party! PS we heard about this shocking tale at citywendy's blog, which is really peek-worthy.

covergirl summer-break book report

Hi, I'm Covergirl, bookburger's infamous (and totally beloved) book-cover reviewer. I'm summering in east hampton. Where are you? Someplace not nearly as chic? I'm so sorry!

Anyhow, the folks at the burger prevailed on me to interrupt my intensive pilates regimen to do some book reviewing. So here you go...and remember, I judge books by their covers only--because a book can be a lovely objet, but let's face it, reading can cause crow's feet if you do it too much.

Here's a brand-new one that will be gracing my shelves, face-out:

  It's History Lesson for Girls, by Aurelia Sheehan. What's not to love? It's elegant, it's got a horse, and the girl's arm is very sculpted. I aspire to an arm like that...just one would be fine! Seriously, there's a divine COMPOSITION thing happening here...it's a fabulously understated look for a book. Props to you, Aurelia!

Here's one I keep seeing at the Stop-and-Shop that will not be finding a home in my home library any time soon:

Eeew. Mottled purple? It's looks like something you'd want to show to your dermatologist STAT. The tree's ok, but that banner up top..."The Bestselling Non-Fiction Hardback Book In History"? They really expect us to believe that? And then there's that subtitle: "What On Earth Am I Here For?" Gee, I don't know...what ARE you here for, Rick? I guess we're supposed to read this book and find out. Which is something I'm not gonna do...mos def not, with an icky cover like this.

My duty is done here, burgerpeople! See you after labor day...

Skin-deeply yrs,
Covergirl

battle of the all-girl anthologies

check this out:

The not-chicks publish on August 1, the chicks on Sept. 1.

The not-chicks say...

"This Is Not Chick Lit is a celebration of America’s most dynamic literary voices, as well as a much needed reminder that, for every stock protagonist with a designer handbag and three boyfriends, there is a woman writer pushing the envelope of literary fiction with imagination, humor, and depth."

The chicks say...

"Eighteen renowned authors weigh in with the best of chick-lit—proving that this genre deserves as much, or more, respect as any other."

Looks like a girl-powered literary smackdown's brewing, burgerites. Stay tuned...

a witherspoonful of news

we've been emailing with Laura Dave lately...you know, she wrote London is the Best City in America. And guess what...Reese Witherspoon wants to star in the film version! Not too shabby, right?  We'll be finding out more when we grill Laura in an upcoming burger pop quiz...like whether Ryan Phillipe actually IS an android. We've always wondered about that.

it's peak haiku season!

At bookburger hq, the sun's shining down, and the haiku are hanging thick and juicy on the vine. So it's time to pluck a few and give out some fabulous prizes! Here, we serve up the top three  winners:

Yankees are the best.
My Jeter is just so hot.
I love them a lot
--by tiffany

Oh my, not again!

Family coming to town?!?!

Prepare for complaints.....

--by arika

We especially love this one by Hannah...because it comes with its own footnotes:

Ell Why. Oh Em Gee.
Can't he spell "love you"? Guess Not.
Tee Tee Why Ell, Babe.

*Ell Why means ly. LY means love you.
*Oh Em Gee means omg. OMG means oh my gosh, goodness, good, game or anything
that starts with gee.
*Tee Tee Why Ell means ttyl. TTYL means talk to you later.
*I'm pretty sure you already knew all of that, but just in case you didn't,
I'm letting you know.

Congratulations to these talented poets! We're sending each of them a $20 gift card to spend at Amazon....happy shopping, darlins!

Stay tuned for the next bookburger writing contest, coming your way in August.

Thank God I...can tell you not to fall for this scam

here in the universe of bookpeople, there are many who love to write, and would love to be published. That's good, natural, admirable. We love that impulse. That's why we were so completely appalled to see this scam being publicized on myspace today.

Two chutzpah-packing "writer-consultants"  have dreamed up something called the "Thank God I..." book series, and they're asking for 300 bucks to publish your personal stories of thankfulness..."Thank God I Got Raped'  for example...(though don't try to write THAT story...they've already copyrighted the title!), or whatever "triumph over adversity" story emerges from your life experience: "Thank God I Lost My Finger in a Woodshop Accident," "Thank God I Got a Bad Perm." The people behind the "Thank God I" book series (it's gonna be 127 books they say...127!!)  are concerned that your motives are pure:

"Please note that ALL STORY SUBMITTING AUTHORS will be required to participate in our three month thankfulness course to ensure that your story is coming from a place of thankfulness and presence in order for your story it to qualify for our series."

But...they also promise that you'll "have the opportunity to earn money for the lifetime of the book!" Up to one-percent of the profits, people!

We at Bookburger are hard at work on our submission, "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" ("Well I got me a  wife, I got me a fiddle, When the sun's comin up I got cakes on the griddle")...

Check out their pitch for a laugh, if you like...but don't you dare give them your credit card number!

11 1/2 Books

Okayokayokay--so I'm a little late putting together my summer reading list. Forgive me, B-listers! I've always been a Class A procrastinaor! Not to brag, but it's where I excel.

We've already posted our Not Your Teacher's Reading List, now I'm posting my very own Read Along With lisapapa List. After sifting through various reviews, I've narrowed it down to 11 1/2 books that are on my Must Read list. (One of the books is a graphic novel. That can't really count as a whole book, right?)

Buckhanon, Kalisha. Upstate.

A faithful girlfriend. A boyfriend in prison. Oooh, forbidden love is always intriguing--count me in!

Cohn, Rachel. Shrimp. 

I just read Gingerbread, and thought it was UH-mazing. Can't wait to read the sequel. Rachel Cohn, you're the coolest!

Douglas, Lola. True Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet. 

A teen start sent to the Heartland. Wait--where have I seen this before? Anyhoo, it sounds hilarious, and seems like the perfect thing to read by the pool.

Gaiman, Neil. Anansi Boys. 

Some people have parents who think they're gods. And some people have parents who ARE gods, like in this little number. Everyone loves Neil Gaiman, so I thought I'd better check it out.

Green, John. Looking for Alaska.

Won the Prinz Award this year. People are talking about it, and they won't shut up. Time to hop on the bandwagon, I guess.

Limb, Sue. Girl (Nearly) 16: Absolute Torture. 

Time to read Sue Limb! I'm actually planning to read Girl, 15: Charming But Insane, too. They both sound hilarious--and like the story of my teenage life, hello!

Lynch, Chris. Inexcusable.

Ummm...kind of scared to read this one, but I'm going to tough it out. It's about a "good guy" who commits a crime so awful that he can't even admit it to himself. Shiver. 

Portman, Frank. King Dork.

This is one of those Nerdy Guy Makes Good books that have come into fashion with a vengeance this year. But it's supposed to be funnyfunnyfunny and super-smart, so I'm ditching all of the other Nerd Boy books and going with this one.

Shusterman, Neal. The Schwa Was Here.

I'm reading this one just for the title.

Weinstein, Lauren R.  Girl Stories.

Graphic novel--supposed to be wickedly funny and it'll probably take less than an hour to read. Any questions?

Westerfeld, Scott. Uglies.

I'm so fascinated by this premise--a world where everyone gets to be supermodel gorgeous at age 16--that I may just read this first. Now tell me how to move there!

Zusak, Markus. I Am the Messenger.

My writing partner, Chris Tebbetts, recommended this one, and he is never wrong (except when he disagrees with me). I'll let you know if he got this one right!

between the buns with...mo willems

We at the burger love to trot the globe...even in these times, when the globe's not exactly a cozy place. So maybe that's why we fell instantly in love with Mo Willem's latest book, You Can Never Find a Rickshaw When It Monsoons: The World on One Cartoon a Day, a visual diary of a worldwide tour he took just after graduating from college in 1990, when a person could hitchhike in Malaysia and not have to worry about ending up as the star of some fuzzy, scary video ransom note. We really, really love Mo's record of his travels.  You can see some cartoons from the book here...and you can meet the man himself right now:

What's the place from your year of travel you'd most like to revisit?

Visiting Goreme in Turkish Anatolia was transformative.  The caves, the paintings, the kilims, and the desert landscape grabbed the romantic in me; I’m still under its spell.

But, mostly, I’d like to go back to New Orleans before Katrina.

And is there anyplace you definitely don't want to go back to?

It would be impolitic of me to single out one terrible place, like Singapore, and make some derogatory comment like “it’s Mall of America without gum chewing,”so I will refrain from such inflammatory talk and save myself a well-deserved caning.

If you could do an animated film version of any book, which book would you do?

Every time I look at my The Art of Monsters Inc. book, I think, “That would make a great film.”

If that’s been taken, I’ll go with Paul Collins’ Banvard’s Folly. 13 stories of people’s glorious failures would make a smashing cartoon.

As for my work, production is just finishing up on a short cartoon adaptation of Knuffle Bunny: A Cautionary Tale.  What makes this one especially cool is that the part of Trixie was performed by the real Trixie; Mommy, her real Mom; and Daddy by yours truly.  It was a real fun recording session.

How about a music video? Any song you'd love to illustrate?

I’ve dreamed of animating Dizzy Gillespie’s version of Bang Bang! for over a decade.  I’d also animate
any Yann Tierson tune.

Who is your favorite illustrator/artist that most people have never heard of?

If by ‘most people’ you mean anyone who isn’t Dutch: Fiep Westendorp.  I grew up with her books: spectacular, simple tomes that made me want to draw and draw and draw.

Others who I dig (and lift from) include: Anatol Kovarsky, Andre Francois, Virgil Partch, and the ‘3 S’s’  (Stieg, Steinberg, and Searle).

What kid or teen books rocked your world growing up?

As a kid I was as lonely as Charlie Brown, as philosophical as Linus, as self-centered as Lucy, and as coordinated as Woodstock, so those Peanuts collections that I picked up at the local K&B drugstore and lunch counter for 75 cents were a perfect fit.

I also dug Spiderman in the mid and late 70’s.  It was like reading about Charlie Brown with superpowers.

Burger-flippers want to know: have you ever had a job that required you to wear a geeky uniform? Details, please!

During high school I bartended at Mardi Gras Balls (this was ‘Nawlins after all).  This involved me wearing a polyester waiter’s uniform and fending off advances and tips from overly lubricated, lonely, blue-haired, ex-debutant grannies. 

You really don’t want any further details…

We'd like to name a burger in your honor.  What kind of fixins should it have?

Please call it the ‘Hold the… Burger’, as I am deathly afraid of most condiments (seriously, second hand catsup fumes turn my stomach). 

A good burger should be like my daughter: fresh and well grounded.

-----

PS from dj...congratulations to b-list members Liz, Heather, CeNedra, Heather (a different one from the first!) and Christy...we away copies of Mo's Rickshaw to all of them. How did these lovelies get so lucky? They simply joined the b-list (see the sign-up form at right) and were automatically entered to win. Easier than pie! Free too.

what makes vampires so irresistible?

yes, we know they have supernatural powers and hypnotic eyes and dark good looks...but it's still amazing how their appeal continues to be so totally...undead. Case in point: Stephenie Meyers' follow up to Twilight, her best-selling tale about a very toothy romance, is way up there on the Amazon pre-order list. New Moon comes out in August, but in the meantime,  Stephenie's offering a free bite at her website. You can download a pdf of the first chapter...which starts off with a quote from Romeo and Juliet:

These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss, consume.

The burger predicts: Fangs will be a key accessory this fall.

Mo Willems interview

we're still crushin' on Mo Willems, author of the children's book Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus and many others, and of the new travelogue-cartoon diary for teens and adults You Can Never Find a Rickshaw When It Monsoons. We asked Mo a whole bunch of questions about his work and his travels, and his answers were, as we expected, smart and funny. We're going to be posting this exclusive interview next week....so stay tuned. In the meantime, if you missed our "sneak peeks" of Rickshaw, check em out here.

reminder: b-list is the place to be...

...if you want to get dish delivered hot to your inbox...and win free goodies: audio copies of the newest reads by Ally Carter and E Lockhart, hardcover copies of the latest Justine Chen Headley, Alison Pace, and Kieran Scott. Don't be shy. Just sign up over there on the right...you'll thank yourself profusely!

"the devil wears prada"

....yeah, we saw it last night, and we STILL have stomach upset this morning. Not because the movie isn't great...it is. It's just that Meryl Streep, playing the nightmare NYC boss from hell, stirred up some powerfully physical memories...memories of bosses whose SNOOT FACTOR was so high, we suspected they only talked to us so they could show off their new teeth-whitening job...

Anyhow, we at bookburger triumphed over all that, and now we're living in happier circumstances. But it made us wonder about chick-lit phenom who started it all, Lauren Weisberger, author of The Devil Wears Prada and Everyone Worth Knowing... Lauren got paid a cool million for her third novel...and, as she writes on her site, she's looking for your help to write it:

Lauren is currently living in New York and working on her third novel (or so her editor thinks). She welcomes any thoughts on plot, characters, or title, and promises to pass off your ideas as her own. Feel free to email her.

Ask for your cut up front, burgerites.

get ready for meg-o-mania

wow--back from a steamy 4th with all the trimmings...fireworks...cook-outs....burgers, of course. And we rolled back into bookburger hq to discover another reason to celebrate..it's a mere 20 days until Meg Cabot's YA romantic comedy appears on bookshelves everywhere (and we DO mean everywhere--the 7-Eleven, the CVS, the nail salon, the panda cage at the National Zoo--where the baby panda will be doing readings from it...). It's called How to Be Popular. And while Meg doesn't need OUR help to spread the word, we couldn't let this publishing event pass without a nod from the burger. So here's a look at the cover (as always, click to get a bigger, sharper look):

Nice, right? What you can't see is that there's a glittery foil slipcover thingy on there...but Meg's unsmiling cat Henrietta will show you this, if you're interested...

hey, whatcha doing here?

...we're reading and eating and not working today...so go outside and play already!