Do you read every single cheesy celeb mag out there, every single week? Can you name all of Brangelina's children, in order, including the new kid? Do you know Anna Sophia Robb's shoe size and Miley Cyrus's toothpaste brand? Yes? Then we predict you'll adore Celebrity Skin: Fame Unlimited by Liane Bonin, out just last month and the first in a series of Hollywood novels. We asked the fame-brained Liane to take our pop quiz, and here's what she said:
Who is your favorite writer that most people have never heard of?
Well, that's definitely a trick question. I don't think most of my favorites are very obscure, but just yesterday someone asked me who Jack Kerouac was, so I guess obscure is increasingly relative. My favorites include Ralph Ellison's "Invisible Man," Yukio Mishima's "Spring Snow," Frederic Exley's "A Fan's Notes" (the fact I have no love for sports makes that book all the more impressive), Thomas Wolfe's "You Can't Go Home Again," Carolyn See's "Making History," Elizabeth McCracken's "The Giant's House," Joe Connelly's "Bringing Out the Dead." There are more, of course, but you have to draw the line somewhere!
What kid or teen books rocked your world growing up?
Anything and everything by Paul Zindel or S.E. Hinton. "A Separate Peace" by John Knowles. Sometimes, Judy Blume.
Describe your ideal place to write.
Next to the fireplace at the Literati Cafe. Second place goes to any Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. An iced blended and the absence of a sock drawer crying out to be organized tends to make the writing go a little faster.
Your life is a TV series. Name the theme song, one event that would be on the "best of" episode, and one that would be on the blooper reel.
"Strange Angels" by Laurie Anderson. It would probably be a horrible theme song for a TV show, but it's gorgeous and ethereal and plays in my head when I'm writing sometimes. An event that would be on the "best of" episode is my wedding day -- not only was I very happy, I've never looked so good. The blooper reel? I was in the midst of a scavenger hunt (don't ask), and in my rush to get back to home base I tried to climb into a car that wasn't mine. It wouldn't have been such a big deal, except the car just happened to be full of German tourists who looked absolutely terrified -- I think they thought I was trying to carjack them.
Burger-flippers want to know: have you ever had a job that required you to wear a geeky uniform? Details, please!
Ugh, yes. I had to wear a magnificently ugly red camp shirt when I was working as a cashier at a specialty grocery store in Boca Raton, Florida. It was a nightmarish job -- little old ladies would regularly tell me not to put their watermelons on top of their raspberries (so tempting, though), the guys behind the butcher counter liked to wave around skinned sheep heads, and my fellow cashiers were like the Plastics in "Mean Girls." On my last day I took great pleasure in waiting until the afternoon rush to toss in my shirt and walk out as my ex-co-workers squawked behind me.
We'd like to name a burger in your honor. What kind of fixins should it have?
Blue cheese, veggie bacon (save Babe!), a slice of soy American cheese, avocado, grilled onions, a touch of garlic, and dollops of barbeque sauce and brown mustard. And the burger? Veggie or turkey, please!