Bookburger

breaking news flash from covergirl

The new Harry Potter cover has been revealed.

It's ugly, doncha think?

Covergirl Special Report: Headless Wonders

 

An URGENT PLEA to Harper Collins: I love your list of upcoming releases from Harper Teen--big faves of the burgerfolk, like Maureen Johnson and Meg Cabot, are on there--but please, please, you MUST restrain the MAD CROPPER who's treating your cover models so brutally! The Cropper (perhaps kin to the Lopper from that old Seinfeld episode) must be stopped!  Revoke his Photoshop license NOW, before he crops again!

Seriously, I totally agree with the smart reader quoted in a previous B-burger post who complained about the trend toward perfect and perfectly anonymous headless bods, which have been proliferating on covers across the YA world since the huge success of the Gossip Girls series....

Faces are FAB. Eyes are EXCELLENT. So lissenup, publishing people. Decapitation is so 2006. Heads are the new black. Let's make  '07 the year we stop the crop.

yrs,
Covergirl

PS...I saw these covers in some pr material--and these titles are all coming up in spring or summer--so maybe these designs are just placeholders? if so, you, Mad Cropper, still have time to repent and mend your ways before these books hit the shelves...

Covergirl--in living color

Hi all...It's Covergirl, punching the clock once again. My job: judging books by their covers.  You may envy me--but believe me, it's not all champagne and bags of swag.

I too have to live through November, for example. And November is colorless, don't you agree? All those fabulous reds and oranges fade to brown. I don't like brown, burgerfolk. So I'm thumbing my nose at November and celebrating colorful books. Check out this shelf candy:

Brevia by Sony
OK, this isn't exactly a book. To be completely honest, it's a TV commercial for an electronics product. Still, watch it now. It's oh-so-cool and color-licious!!

Only Revolutions by Mark L. Danielewski
Eye-popping cover--and I happened to open this one to see that the author uses type in interesting ways and employs the interjection  "Up bugaloo!"  Love it, Mark.

The Dissident by Nell Fruedenburger
Fabulous graphic punch on ths one, no? It's about a Chinese dissident artist living in Hollywood, so the red-star-over-palm-tree image is actually relevant, too, which is always nice. Well-played, Nell!

The Beauty Buyble by Paula Conway and Maureen Regan
When I see "buyble," I think "Yiddish endearment," not "reference book." Still, the cover is entirely enchanting! The design takes a page from Tord Boontje, a designer with a great aesthetic and a very fun-to-say name.

Now didn't that banish your blahs and defeat your funk? It did mine, honeys. See you next time.

Colorfully yrs,
Covergirl

covergirl checking in

Hello beautiful bookish types, it's Covergirl again, bookburger's proudly superficial book-cover reviewer. Fall is a big season for new releases, so while others are leaf-peeping, I like to stroll through my local bookseller's, ogling jackets and criticizing them mercilessly. Here are two that caught my eye...

this one kind of shocked me:

It's Tess Gerritsen's The Mephisto Club--but at first glance, I thought it was a how-to manual for gastroenterologists. What else could I think, when the jacket art looks like an action shot from a colonoscopy--you know, where they stick a tiny camera lens where the sun don't shine? And there looks to be an obstruction hanging out in the large intestines --or perhaps it's a shadowy figure waiting for his next meal to drop down the old esophagus...I don't have a clue what this story is about, but I can tell you, judging from the cover, that reading it would give me a tummyache. I'm steering clear.

now this one is nice:

It's The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky. Never having been a wallflower, I can't imagine what those perks might be--but apparently they have something to do with chartreuse--a bold color choice for the shrinking violet set. This cover is edgy, and has a photo of some guy's legs intriguingly tucked up into one corner. I might read the book just to discover where the rest of this person is...or I might not read it, but I'd still buy it because it would look great in my living room, where chartreuse is one of my accent tones. Excellent color sense, Mr. Chbosky!

and so i must dash. bless you all!
yrs,
covergirl

covergirl's fall (book) fashion report

Yes, it's me, Covergirl, bookburger's bare-it-all book-cover reviewer, and now that I'm done shopping for strappy boots and adorable tweed waistcoats and other key elements of my autumn look, I'm ready to hit the books. As you know if you've been paying attention, I judge all books by their covers, and right now, this is one I'm not liking one bit:

It's called Angels Fall by Nora Roberts. Sorry, i mean NORA ROBERTS. I can only guess that nora's loyal readers have a tendency to forget their glasses when they go to the bookstore, and that nora knows this, and that this is why she thoughtfully made her name SO VERY LARGE on this cover.


Now here's a book I love. It's River Secrets by Shannon Hale. I haven't read it, but maybe I will someday, because it has an antique-ish sort of painting on its cover, complete with a patina of age and a faux-crackle finish. It's very old school, a tad melancholy, and if it were peeking out of your metallic leather tote, it would make you look quite brainy. It's an ideal accessory for the Euro-fabulous trench I'm ordering in my other browser window right now!


Must run and fetch credit-card, burgerpeople. Stay beautiful!
skin-deeply yrs,
Covergirl

covergirl summer-break book report

Hi, I'm Covergirl, bookburger's infamous (and totally beloved) book-cover reviewer. I'm summering in east hampton. Where are you? Someplace not nearly as chic? I'm so sorry!

Anyhow, the folks at the burger prevailed on me to interrupt my intensive pilates regimen to do some book reviewing. So here you go...and remember, I judge books by their covers only--because a book can be a lovely objet, but let's face it, reading can cause crow's feet if you do it too much.

Here's a brand-new one that will be gracing my shelves, face-out:

  It's History Lesson for Girls, by Aurelia Sheehan. What's not to love? It's elegant, it's got a horse, and the girl's arm is very sculpted. I aspire to an arm like that...just one would be fine! Seriously, there's a divine COMPOSITION thing happening here...it's a fabulously understated look for a book. Props to you, Aurelia!

Here's one I keep seeing at the Stop-and-Shop that will not be finding a home in my home library any time soon:

Eeew. Mottled purple? It's looks like something you'd want to show to your dermatologist STAT. The tree's ok, but that banner up top..."The Bestselling Non-Fiction Hardback Book In History"? They really expect us to believe that? And then there's that subtitle: "What On Earth Am I Here For?" Gee, I don't know...what ARE you here for, Rick? I guess we're supposed to read this book and find out. Which is something I'm not gonna do...mos def not, with an icky cover like this.

My duty is done here, burgerpeople! See you after labor day...

Skin-deeply yrs,
Covergirl

covergirl's so-hot summer

Hi, fellow fans of truth, beauty, and fabulous jackets! It's me, Covergirl, Bookburger's resident book-cover critic, and I want to know: are you wearing sunscreen? what's your spf?  have you bronzed lately? I only ask because, well, it's summer, and these things matter. Looks matter. Books' looks matter, too...at least, if you're like me, and you prefer to judge a book by its cover, instead of slogging your way through all those vocabulary words.

So here's a book that I'm loving right now:
Grab on to Me Tightly As If I Knew the Way by Bryan Charles
This cover has a faux-naive quality I adore. It's really very hip-looking. It's just screaming, "Buy this book, read the flap copy, then display it casually on your table at the local java house while you're on your laptop shopping for cute accessories." Know what I mean? And I mean that in a good way! I'm completely in love with this cover. And, from the flap copy, it sounds kinda good too...so while at the java shop or the beach, I may actually crack this one open.Your book's look is working for you, Bryan.

On the other hand, I will NOT be laying down my hard-earned cash for this one:
It's Godless: The Church of Liberalism by Ann Coulter. Ann, luv, you look silly. All you're missing is a thought balloon above your head that says, Look, I have bazooms! I will now hypnotize you with them and compel you to buy my book!   Come, Annie, we're not thinking about the "The Church of Liberalism" when we look at Godless. No, it's more like the "Church of the Cheesehound in a Black Spandex Top on Her Way to Jazzercize Class at a Gym for Desperate Singles." Sorry, dollface...nice spray-tan, though!

Skin-deeply yrs,

Covergirl

Covergirl reporting for duty!

Hi gorgeous readers! Covergirl here with another book review. I mean book cover review...because judging a book by its cover is just easier. I'm a very busy gal.

So here's a book I won't be buying:

It's Kingdom Hearts, Vol 3 by Shiro Amano. Really, what's going on here? Are my favorite Disney characters wired up on cartoon crank? And if so, do they have rehab in the Magic Kingdom? I adore manga as much as the next slightly geeky girl, but messing with Goofy, Tweety, and Ariel is not OK.  Cease and desist, Mr. Shiro Amano. Invent your own bug-eyed critters, and get your hands off my preschool obsessions!

I will absolutely be buying this book:

It's Inside the Mind of Gideon Rayburn by Sarah Miller. The cover breasts look to be size 34B...just like mine. These bazooms are the ideal accessories for any outfit and every occasion! Who cares what Gideon Rayburn thinks about them..I think they're perfect. And that makes me want to own this book. Congrats on your boobalicious cover, Sarah, and may your novel be a bust-out success!

Superficially yrs,

Covergirl

It's Covergirl...

yes, it's me again...back for another fabulously shallow post in which i judge new books by their covers.

This week, I will certainly NOT be shelling out my hard-earned dollars on this book:
It's Everyman, by Philip Roth. Yeah, Phil, I know you're a pretty big name, and I heard that this book is all about how it sucks to get really old and see your friends die (yes, Covergirl reads the New York Times too--well, skims it at least--) but jeez, does that mean you have to make your cover look a like funeral? Heck, even the etiquette books say it's ok to pay your last respects in navy or even a pretty yet subdued burgundy...maybe accessorized with a chic hat...

So cheer up, Phil! You're still a player! You're still selling books and winning awards! Enjoy life for once, and would it kill you to put some daisies or a nice slice of pie or a cute little dog on your next book's jacket?

Covergirl WILL be buying this book:
Total adorability! Kudos to you, Brad Barkley and Heather Hepler, authors of Scrambled Eggs at Midnight...and the nameless person who made your book's look!

It's white, it's bright, and it's very all right with Covergirl. It looks so tasty...I might even read this one!

Ciao for now! See ya next week...
skin-deeply yrs,
Covergirl

Meet Covergirl!

No, we're not talking about a glossy-mag model...nor a brand of not-so-hot drugstore cosmetics. We're talking about Bookburger's very own Covergirl, who unashamedly believes that every book SHOULD be judged by its cover.  Each week, she'll be sharing her oh-so-shallow picks.

This week, Covergirl will be buying this book:

Total cuteness...Covergirl is a sucker for thought bubbles.

And she loves the groovy graphic trees.

It's Nothing But the Truth (and a few white lies) by Justina Chen Hedley. Nice jacket, JC--no lyin'!

Covergirl will NOT be buying this one:

This book is called Cirque Du Freak #11: Lord of the Shadows : Book 11 in the Saga of Darren Shan.

Eeeww...It should be called Cirque du Yuck #11: Lord of the Heinous Color Schemes and Cheesy Blurry Images.

Sorry, Darren dear. Better luck with #12!

See ya next week!
Skin-deeply yours,

Covergirl